As you walk through the double doors, it seems like everyone stops to stare, even though that's not really true. Chances are, they're all focused on their own workout. Regardless, your insecurities rise up and your mind begins to play tricks on you.
You see the buff guys lifting weights and you just know they would make fun of you if you even tried some of the equipment on that side of the gym.
You see the girls who are toned and fit. You imagine they must recognize right away that you're not like them. Not to mention, your workout clothes are totally different from theirs.
You see guys and girls walking around to all the equipment and you realize they must know that you're a beginner. As lost as you feel, surely they can see the hesitancy on your face.
I recently joined a gym. That's not something I've wanted to publicize, but for the sake of this article, I'm going to include this little tidbit. There's nothing like joining a gym for the first time to make you feel insecure. Trust me, it's one sure way to set the cycle of comparison into motion.
Social media is another quick and powerful way to propel us into the hands of comparison. Engagement photos. Weddings. Fancy cars. Nice house. Fashion. Healthy Living. These are just a few of the topics we see consistently on Instagram, Facebook, and other social media platforms. While these topics are not inherently wrong, it's the way that we view them (our perspective) that produces the wrong kind of thinking. As followers, we become so wrapped up in the seemingly "perfect" lifestyle of others that we believe we have to live the same way. We see the joy of others and we think we can find joy too. If only we could...find love, buy something new, lose some weight, etc. The list is endless and the fact is: we cannot be anyone else. On the road to comparison, rather than making us joyful, it will make us joyless.
Comparison is the ultimate thief of joy. When you begin to compare yourself to other people, you believe that your focus is on someone else. In reality, it places the focus on self. Comparison is selfish. We lose our peace and contentment every time we choose to compare. You cannot live someone else's life, nor should you try to do so. You were created perfectly with a purpose in mind that only you can fulfill. No one else is going to be exactly like you and there is a reason for that. God's design did not intend for one person to create their life based on someone else's life or social media platform. We focus too much on what other people do or think instead of what and who we were created to be. We lose our sense of identity as we try to take on the identity of one or more people we idolize. We seek acceptance, but we were not called to be accepted in this world. We were created to stand out. Acceptance won't bring lasting joy and comparison will steal joy right from underneath you.
Comparison is a normal response to the environment and people around us. It's easy to fall into, but it's not healthy-mentally, emotionally, physically, or spiritually. It is painstakingly unhealthy to believe the lie that you need to be more like ____________(insert name here) to be happy with yourself. What a sad way to live. How do you think other people feel when they scroll through your Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc.? Can you imagine that maybe other people have the same thoughts about you? I wouldn't doubt it. At some point in life, we have all flipped the switch from "count it all joy" to "count it all comparison." We constantly feel the need to better ourselves, which again, is not necessarily wrong. It's ok to want to better yourself. Why do you think I joined a gym? I want to become more healthy and create an active lifestyle. I decided this on my own. But if I had decided to do so based on what I saw someone else doing, I would be falling into the trap of comparison. It's still hard not to look at other people and feel like they're better than you are at something. I get it. Trust me, I have been there more than you can imagine. Time and time again, I have found myself comparing my life to someone else's, setting a standard for myself based on their standards or way of life.
Here's a quick example to help illustrate my point. I use my own personal experiences because I hope it will help someone else going through a similar battle. (I am not writing this to make someone feel sorry for me or think that I just want to hold onto the negative feelings that come with the retelling...)
When I was younger, I always felt like I was weird and some of the things that were said about me made me insecure at a young age. For years, I have struggled with trying to be "good enough" for everyone who entered into my life: family, friends, peers, coworkers. I finally realized, like a thief in the night, my joy had slipped away undetected and I was left with stolen goods. With joy went my peace, confidence, and faith in myself and God. I didn't want to see it, but I was living a life without true joy. The reason I never felt good enough is because I measured my worth based on the lives of the people around me. I didn't know that was why then, but I do now.
I am telling you this so you don't fall into the same cycle I did. Don't allow yourself to believe the lie that you are not good enough because you're not like someone else. You are unique, special, unusual, and you were created the way you were supposed to be. You were made in the image of God and He wants you to fulfill your purpose, not someone else's.
When you see the person who is skinnier or more fit than you, remember that you are fearfully and wonderfully made.
When you see the person who has more material possessions than you do, remember God said He would give you what you needed.
When you see someone on social media who looks like they have everything in their life together, remember you don't see their behind the scenes.
Stop yourself from continuing in the cycle of comparison. It's the thief of joy. Trying to become someone you're not will never make you happy. If it does, I'm sorry to tell you, but it's only temporary. Take comfort in knowing that God created you the way He wanted you to be. Sure, you might be a little unusual, but God thinks you're beautiful. You are His masterpiece. You don't have to feel insecure when you replace comparison with the joy found in Jesus Christ.
Don't let comparison win. You are too valuable for that.