Over the last year, I have learned that it's hard to tell your personal testimony or story. I have learned that it's ok if you're not ok. You don't have to pretend that you are. You don't have to act like you haven't been hurt. You also don't have to be afraid to share parts of your story as you see fit. If it is for the purpose of encouraging others and glorifying God, shout your story from the rooftops. You don't need to have everyone notice you, but if you are telling your story to draw others to Christ, people will listen.
I don't want to be just another story
As days and times pass by
And my life becomes a part of history
Little do you know,
Not all the story has been told
It has only just begun
My victory is still being won
So before you try to tell the history,
Take the time to really look at me
You might not see it from the outside
Pain can't be seen by the naked eye
But if you got to know me, you would realize
The pain is what has shaped my life
That's why I choose not to be
Just another story
This year has been one of the hardest years of my life or so it seems. Life is like that-the roller coaster of life, as many people call it. How true this is. Up and down, up and down we go, on the roller coaster called life. It takes us to new heights and brings us to new lows. Personally, I have experienced more lows than I care to admit. Throughout the valleys, doubts like to creep into my mind and steal the joy that could once be found. It is an endless cycle. However, I had to make a choice. I am still making this choice. Do I want to give in to the pressures of life or do I want to go on for Christ? The truth is: He never promised that serving Him would be a bed of roses. That's why we often only turn to Him in our time of need; it is in these times that we realize just how much we need Him. For some people, including myself, it is only after we have abandoned God and tried to live life our own way, that we recognize the great need we have for Him. You don't have to be a backslider in word or deed to fall away from God. You can be a backslider in heart. I fear many of us fall into this category without realizing it.
Proverbs 14:14-The backslider in heart shall be filled with his own ways...
Psalm 90:9-For all our days are passed away in thy wrath: we spend our years as a tale that is told.
When I reached what seemed like the lowest point in my life, I wanted to blame it all on God. After all, wasn't He the one who allowed the hurt to happen? He certainly hadn't stopped it. Honestly, I was ready to quit. I questioned everything I had ever believed. My faith was shaken. Circumstances had me bound, but Jesus told me He still loved me, and He wouldn't let me go. Like the old song says, God's mercy kept me so I wouldn't let go. It is only by grace that I am continuing to proclaim the love of Christ. I was determined, after going through this difficult time in my life, that I was not going to be just another story. What I mean by that is this: I didn't want to be another statistic. I didn't want to be another sermon illustration. I didn't want to be remembered as the bitter girl who turned her back on God. I wanted to be the exception to the stories of young people who left the church and never returned. I didn't want to be just another story.
At youth camp this summer, I heard a message preached that sounded similar to one of my early blog posts. The preacher was talking about how God is the author of our stories and that as long as we keep our lives in the hands of the Divine Author, He will write a beautiful ending (Bro. Douglas Meadow). The title of his sermon was "The Pen is in Your Hand." I'll never forget it, because he passed out pens and pencils to all the campers as he was preaching. One of the points he made really stuck out to me. He said that God does not give us editorial control over our life stories; however, He does give us control over certain parts of the story. You can tell when the handwriting changes. As we take the pen out of God's hand, things can get pretty messy. The difference is not what God writes; it's what you write (Bro. Meadow). As the altar call was made, the campers were asked to bring their pen or pencil with them to the altar. It was kind of a wake-up call, at least to me. I had gotten used to having control of my life and it was hard to hand it over. The truth is, we are the ones who can make or break the story.
My question to you is this: Are you going to be just another story? Think about how you want others to remember you. Your life is your story, but if you keep taking the pen from God's hands, it will start to get messy. I don't know about you, but I don't want to be remembered for the potential I had and didn't live up to. I don't want to be remembered for the chances I had to make things right with God, but didn't. I don't want to be remembered for the life that I could have had. I want to be remembered for the life I chose in Christ, because I knew that was the only way to make my mark in history. I want my life to be a bestseller for Jesus. I want others to know that there is a God who loves them so much that He sent His only Son to die for them. I want to tell them and I want to show them. If all that I have experienced in life helps lead others to Christ, then it will be worth it.
I choose not to be just another story. Will you?