In this post, I want to prove to you happiness doesn't just happen. It isn't an imaginary thing that suddenly appears at the snap of your fingers and causes life to be perfect. True joy in life does not come from things temporary, but from things that cannot be replaced. Of course, everyone has those times in their lives when things don't go the way they had hoped, but I want to tell you a few things that can help people choose happiness.
1. Don't seek validation from a significant other.
If you think being in a relationship is going to satisfy some longing or bring you the happiness you've always wished for, you're probably wrong. Although I can't speak from experience, I have seen people I know in the wrong kind of relationships where they weren't actually happy. They may have posted on social media and everyone thought they were the perfect couple. However, that happiness turned out to be temporary because eventually the heartbreak came. That temporary relationship could not satisfy the longing for happiness, because once it was over, that validation was gone. You don't have to be in a relationship to be happy with your life, or to feel confident in yourself. If you seek validation from others, you won't find true contentment. Seek your validation from your Heavenly Father, and find your joy in a relationship with Him.
2. Build on your strengths and improve your weaknesses.
True happiness comes from being the truest version of yourself. If you learn to be a genuine person, then you will find satisfaction in life. Know your talents and abilities and continue working on those things. This doesn't mean you have bragging rights because you know your strong points. It simply means you have some confidence, and want to make sure you are using your talents to the best of your ability. Also, learn your weaknesses. Make a conscious effort to reflect on them and improve yourself. Without acknowledging your faults, you cannot become a better person. Most of the time, we couldn't learn anything if we did not first make a mistake. It is how we handle those mistakes that defines us and shapes our character.
3. Help others.
Life isn't all about you, so stop focusing on what you need or want, and think about others. If you have a friend who is down, call them and lend a listening ear. Send someone a card who you haven't talked to in a while, or has moved far away. If you have elderly neighbors and they need help around the house, help them out as much as you can. If you know of a family in need, help them out financially, or simply give them some company and encouragement. There are always people in need. Maybe you can't tell by looking at them, but they are there. Sometimes you just have to be willing to look beyond yourself to see the world around you.
4. Leave the past behind.
Regardless of how crazy your day is, or how many mistakes you've made, don't let them overwhelm you. No one is going to be perfect. It's what you do with your imperfections that really matters. But realize that being imperfect does not mean you're a bad person. Don't beat yourself up because of your mistakes. Take them to Jesus, and leave them there. You can be happy when you leave the past behind you, and simply live in the present: the here and now. My pastor preached a message one time and I wrote down something he said that really stuck out to me: "We cannot be paralyzed by the past. But we cannot be hypnotized by the future." Find a balance between the two. Focus on the present, and make the most of the time you have right now.
5. Christ-centered life.
When you live for Jesus, that becomes the most important thing in your life. When you leave your old life behind and start following Christ, you will find true joy. It won't be 'a bed of roses,' but it will definitely be a rewarding way to live. Seek Him first, and all other things will follow. Happiness isn't about a person, place, or thing. It's about finding, and living for, a purpose greater than oneself. If you let Christ be that purpose, I promise you won't be sorry. He is the reason I live, and the reason I can be happy with who I am, with this life that I've been given.
Therefore, happiness isn't happenstance. It can't magically appear, but rather is something that each person chooses for him or herself. Choose to be happy with the life you live, and if you aren't, find another purpose for living. You can ask Jesus in your heart, and find a joy like you have never known. That is the best kind of happiness.