It's so hard to feel God sometimes. It's hard to trust when you can't see what He's trying to do in your life. Doubt creeps in and you feel so alone. It doesn't make a difference that He is still right beside you, because when you don't feel Him or hear Him speaking to you, faith wavers. Here are some lyrics to a song that often ring true: "Sometimes He calms the storm, but sometimes He calms me." However, sometimes God allows the storm to rage in your life, and the sense of drowning fills your heart. No matter the circumstances in front of you, no matter how IMPOSSIBLE they may seem, God is on the move. You may not hear Him in the storm, you may not see Him in the fire, but that still small voice will speak peace to your heart when you need it most. He is still a God of the impossible.
Almost three years ago, Nana's heart specialist found severe leakage in two valves. In December of 2014, she was in the hospital awaiting open heart surgery. My parents asked the doctor if they could pray for her before the surgery, so we all gathered around her bed and began to pray with him still in the room. My dad prayed for God to guide the surgeon's hands. After prayer, we told Nana we loved her, and left the room so they could prep her for surgery. We went to a large area/ waiting room downstairs, and were informed that a chaplain would give us updates on how the surgery was going. It would be a few hours before they could tell us anything. The wait was tough because we were all very concerned about Nana.
About an hour had passed when the receptionist at the front desk told us the chaplain was coming downstairs to talk to us. She then proceeded to escort us into a little room off the waiting area. No explanation was given, and we knew it was too soon to be getting an update. It was tough not to think that the worst had happened. All I could do was close my eyes and pray a prayer of faith in that moment. It didn't sound good, but I knew God was in control. The chaplain informed us that the doctor would be in soon to explain everything. The doctor finally arrived to the solemn faces of my family members. He quickly calmed our fears, and explained that nothing was wrong. In fact, he said Nana didn't need surgery at all. After prepping her for surgery, the doctor had checked one last time for the leakages in her heart. He found nothing, and they hadn't even started surgery. After consulting with two other colleagues, he confirmed that surgery wasn't necessary. This doctor was the Head of Open Heart Surgery, and only one other colleague had witnessed a similar situation.
I wish I could explain the stunned looks on our faces, but it was definitely a bittersweet moment. There was the terrifying thought that something was wrong followed by the amazing revelation that everything was more than ok. The doctor could not find a feasible medical explanation as to why there was no more leakage in Nana's heart. He said they tried everything to make sure, but still found nothing. Because the surgery was scheduled at the beginning of December, the doctor proclaimed that we may have just witnessed a Christmas miracle. Who but God can do such things as these?! Since then, my Nana never had to have open heart surgery. God is good, and He can still perform miracles! Just ask my Nana because she is a living testimony of what the power of God can do. If you ever find yourself doubting God, remember this story I shared. Also, think back to everything He has done in YOUR life. He may not come when you want Him to, but He's always right on time. Trust God, because He is moving even when you can't feel Him.
